Hello, everyone.
It’s…been some time since I felt the need to sit down and write some anger-fueled prose or a SCOLDING HOT TAKE on another edition of America continuing to chop its own dick off with the dullest of butter knives.
That’s because I had to get away from it all.
As I wrote back in May, the pandemic broke me. For the first time in my working life, I was eligible for, and took, short-term disability. Apparently the same job that kept me miserable and hyper focused on the calamitous clusterfuck that was the T**** years gave me a surprise get-out-of-work-free card: two months’ worth of leave that wouldn’t count against my regular PTO.
It took a month for full approval, but I got it and immediately began rededicating my life to losing weight and getting back into shape.
I’m proud that as of this writing, I weigh approximately 28 pounds less than I did on June 1st.
For the last four years, I noticed certain clothes became much tighter and impossible to wear. Now, I’m having trouble keeping a few pairs of pants from tumbling off my body.
Left and right, shorts and t-shirts are looser than they were three weeks ago – a welcome surprise as 2021 inches ever closer towards 2022.
Remember that friend’s wedding I mentioned in my first post on this very blog?
It finally happened! And it was wonderful!
And I didn’t contract COVID!
I even began dating again.
That hasn’t been very successful, sadly – nor nearly as fun of an achievement as attending the three-times-COVID-delayed wedding, but again, welcome surprises!
Speaking of welcome surprises, I’ve started a new job! It’s essentially my old job BUT I’m getting paid astronomically more for doing about a third of my old workload. Literally more bang for my buck.
I forgot what it was like to have a job that wasn’t watching the news every waking moment of the day, so I’m still adjusting to my enormously slower pace of worklife.
But my G-d, is it nice to just breathe again. No more feeling of Big Brother watching, no surprise rugby matches to cover, or shitty British sitcoms that haven’t been viewed in 47 years.
I’m in a better place.
Not sports-wise mind you, since the Cubs traded literally everyone! The day before my birthday, no less! I now hate them with every fiber of my being!
On the plus side, I don’t waste my time watching those irrelevant losers anymore (there’ll be plenty of time for that come football season. And basketball season. Even hockey season because I don’t have enough reasons to crater my own self-esteem).
In the meantime, it’s on to the next wedding. I’ve got a cousin getting hitched in May next year, and I’m aiming for my original driver’s license weight from age 16. It’s been a hell of a journey, but I’m confident I’ll reach my destination.
Sadly, the fucking pandemic lives…but for now, I’m taking my victories where I can.
Hopefully, there will be more to come.
Diary of a Mad Millennial 